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A friend of mine, a Shia Muslim, often tells me an intriguing but a very telling little tale. He is from Jhang in the Punjab province where he, as a school kid, was always a passionate participant of Shia processions. During one Moharram day (in the late 1980s), a Shia procession he was a part of was attacked by a couple of armed young men belonging to a radical Sunni Muslim outfit.
Nothing surprising, especially in a Pakistan that began to take shape from the early 1980s onwards; and/or when the state under General Ziaul Haq actually encouraged the proliferation of violent Islamist and sectarian organisations as a way to bolster its efforts to whip up a jihadist frenzy against the Soviet-backed regime in Afghanistan.
But my friend and some of his contemporaries were left surprised by the attack. Not because it was carried out by a sectarian outfit but because of the fact that one of the attackers was a young teenaged lad who was actually a contemporary of my friend at school.
The teen was arrested and thrown in one of the city’s lock-ups. When my friend told an empathetic teacher at the school, the teacher too was shocked and decided to visit the young militant.
Reaching the police station the concerned teacher let lose a volley of questions at the boy (in Punjabi): ‘Sohail, what have you done? Why did you attack your friends?’
The young militant was unmoved: ‘What kind of question is that? We all know they (the Shias) are kafir (infidels)!’
Taken aback by the sudden transformation of the young boy, the teacher remarked that the founder of Pakistan, Muhammad Ali Jinnah, too wasn’t a Sunni.
‘What are you saying, sir?’ The young boy shot back. ‘Jinnah wasn’t the founder of Pakistan. Quaid-e-Azam was. And Quaid-e-Azam was Sunni.’
This is a fascinating little tale that is otherwise big on explaining the social and political outcome of the Pakistani state’s long-winded project to construct and impose a rather xenophobic model of faith that could be moulded and easily used to legitimise the hegemony of the religious, political, economic and military elites that make-up the country’s figurative establishment.
The fact that the Pakistani state used Orwellian tactics to twist and turn historical facts to construct a mythical socio-political narrative is now in the open.
Using the media and school textbooks, the state went on a rampage, especially after the loss of the former East Pakistan in 1971. A highly suspicious, xenophobic and aggressive narrative about Pakistan’s ideology, history and society was streamlined that eventually mutated into a warped worldview now found across the society.
One can rightly blame men like Z. A. Bhutto and more specifically, General Zia, for such a state of affairs. But those who came before these two weren’t all that truthful either. This tradition’s earliest roots actually lie in one of the first insistences of Orwellian manipulation of faith and nationalism way back in 1948.
Soon after the creation of Pakistan, Jinnah gave his famous speech to the Constituent Assembly in which he insisted that in Pakistan minorities were free to follow their faiths and that the Pakistani state had nothing to do with religion.
This speech did not go down well with that section of the Muslim League elite that had tasted the power of using religion as a political tool during the Pakistan Movement.
Soon after Jinnah’s speech, an attempt was made by a number of Muslim League leaders to censor the draft of the speech that was to be published in the newspapers.
It was only when the then editor of Dawn, Altaf Hussain, threatened to take the issue directly to Jinnah that the League leaders relented.
No wonder then, soon after Jinnah’s death in 1948, the League’s top leadership at once departed from the secular contents of Jinnah’s speech and, in fact, flipped it on its head by drafting the 1949 Objectives Resolution that in the future became the basis of Bhutto’s populist Islamic experiments and Zia’s Machiavellian Islamist demagoguery.
Re-imagining Jinnah and propagating him as seen from the eyes of the above-mentioned religious and political elite has been a vital tool for the establishment.
Sometimes this dastardly project has been stretched to absurd lengths just so Jinnah’s credentials of being a secular Muslim nationalist can be undermined.
For example, in July 1977 when Zia toppled the Bhutto regime, he almost immediately got down to the business of radically transforming the ideological complexion of Pakistan, changing it from being a ‘democratic Muslim majority state’ into peddling it as a state that was supposedly conceived as a theocratic entity.
Zia and his ideological partners, mainly the Jamaat-i-Islami (JI), hit a brick wall when they couldn’t endorse their revisionist narrative with any of the speeches of Jinnah.
They came up with nothing, until one fine day in early 1983 when after still failing to get a worthwhile endorsement from Jinnah for Zia’s ‘Islamic’ narrative, his Ministry of Information enthusiastically announced the sudden ‘discovery’ of Jinnah’s personal diary.
Excited, Zia held a press conference in which he claimed that in the newly discovered ‘personal diary of the founder’, Jinnah had spoken about having a ‘powerful Head of State (read: dictator),’ and ‘the dangers of parliamentary democracy.’ Then he conveniently concluding Jinnah’s views being very close to having an ‘Islamic system of government’.
The Urdu press gave lavish coverage to the event, as the state-owned PTV and Radio Pakistan broadcasted discussions with ‘scholars’ on this breathtaking discovery.
But, alas, the euphoria around this farce was thankfully short-lived. Two of Jinnah’s close associates, Mumtaz Daultana and K. H. Khurshid, rubbished Zia’s claims saying there was never such a diary.After this, a group of senior intellectuals from the Quaid-e-Azam Academy also denied that such a diary ever existed in the Academy’s archives (from where Zia had claimed the diary had emerged).
Strangely once his claims were trashed, not only did Zia never mention anything about the supposed diary ever again, a number of Urdu newspapers that had splashed the drastic discovery went completely quiet as well.
But for the future generations that have produced confused kids like Sohail, Zia’s claims became a documented utterance, whereas Daultana and Khurshid’s refutations slid down becoming nothing more than mere footnotes.
No wonder the young lad in Jhang thought Jinnah and Quaid-e-Azam were actually two separate men.
I’ve been reading throug so many different articles on how to get your ex back that I was wondering if the immense levels of low self-esteem, which I’ve been observing lately are responsible for some unhappy relationships out there. This isn’t about pride, but about common sense and proverbial forgiveness – the type that really counts. So if you are still undecided, here are some great reasons to keep him or her in the ‘ex-files’.
1. A broken link in the universe is a sign that things or people don’t belong together; fixing it always leaves scars, even if you tried to hide those or ‘cope’ with them.
2. In this context, no matter how many therapies you attend, your memory (not your money) will always have the last words. “It happened”.
3. It would be a step backwards. You would be denying yourself a chance to grow, meet new people, feel new emotions and maybe be happier.
4. The only person, who could ever break that relationship (one of you two) already did, so ask yourself the right question; it is never why but what for?
5. You would have communication problems. Even when you ‘hide’ concerns they still exist. Do you want that kind of mental punishment?
6. You wouldn’t do it for love, but perhaps because you need to fill in a gap in your life. Love (for yourself) would be to accept the facts.
7. There are only two biological sex genders, but more than 60% of over 6 billion people in the world are adults; how unlucky can you be?
8. An ‘ex’ (anything) implies that the experience belongs to the past. So you should contemplate your present and look into your future.
9. You would still wonder about ‘what if’ – for as long as the reconciliation lasts – making room for potential resentment.
10. If you broke up again, you would regret wasting precious time. And who in this life has enough of it for regrets, let alone to waste any?
So, my friend. MOVE ON 🙂
Every time a group of men under the age of 25 gathers for long periods of time, you can bet your last two cents that one of them (probably you) will be smoking weed. Whether it’s a road trip, an adventure, or a day spent playing Call of Duty, someone is eventually going to bust out the green.
Most of your group is used to this, but there’s always the odd time a fresh face appears who may not be as chronic-minded as the rest of you, so you, being the good host (and horrible corrupt person) that you are, decide to let the newbie take a hit of the spliff, just so he doesn’t feel left out. What you don’t know is that you are about to set him up for one of the worst skull-fucks he could ever imagine.
The following is exactly what’s going through his mind as he smokes weed for the first time.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna go through with this, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. You only live once, right?
Huh, I thought it would look more like those leaves I’ve seen on Dr. Dre albums; this stuff just looks like little nuggets. It looks like plant shit. Okay so how does this work? I just suck until I get it all in my throat? Haha…that’s what she said. Make a note to tell that to the guys.
They don’t seem amused by my witty observations, their loss. Alright so I just light it and suck….
HOLY SHIT!!! That tastes like ass. Seriously guys, that actually may be the most foul thing I’ve inhaled since I visited my grandpa. I’m choking!! Why can’t I stop coughing? Is it possible to actually cough up a lung? This shit has been nothing but trouble, I don’t see the appeal… and why is everyone laughing at me…
Okay so is this it? Am I high? I feel the exact same, nothing’s spinning, no hallucinations. Maybe I’m just immune to it, like some kind of weird superhero. Did I just refer to myself as a superhero? Maybe I’m high, but I feel don’t any different. Wait what the fuck, did I just mix up ‘feel’ and ‘don’t’ in my mind? Ask if someone heard you. Dammit of course not, it was in my mind. Damn you, mind.
I’m looking at my hands and honestly I can’t tell what all the fuss is about, they’re just hands, with little fingers. Why would anyone trip out to something so simple? Now nails…nails are trippy shit; it’s like finger armor. Holy shit look at that stucco ceiling, it’s got like faces in it. Look, there’s Zeus right by the corner. Right there! Shit I lost him, maybe if I squint…
I should say something, I’ve been quiet for like 20 minutes looking at this ceiling.
‘Woah dude, I’m high.’
Seriously, that’s the best you could do? Who are you, Keanu Reeves? ‘Woah dude’? Step your game up! Now everyone’s laughing at you again. I’m hungry. Was I hungry before or am I hungry because of the weed? Is this the munchies thing that everyone talks about? What was the last thing I ate? …Cookies I think…. Was that breakfast or lunch? Shit.
Okay well let’s take a walk to see what this guy has in his kitchen. Holy shit, this all looks fantastic. Why do I have a craving for everything? Nacho cheese, I love that stuff, I should make nachos! Let’s open this bag up. This bag is so smooth, what is this, plastic or foil? I bet if they made a field out of this stuff they could play some insane sports on it. Friction-ball!?! Note to self, don’t forget about friction-ball, could be a cash cow. Okay the nachos are in the bowl, step one complete. I should try one just to make sure that they’re good. Wow, how can something so simple taste so good? It’s like salty AND crunchy and…textured?
Why is my mouth dry? Oh my God, I’m overdosing. I knew drugs were a bad idea, I need a doctor! Okay calm down, you’re being a pussy, just drink some water, you’re not overdosing just listen to your heart beat. My heart is like beating to like…a rhythm. I can hear my own heart beat. Is that normal?! Just chill out and lean on something.
I’ve been leaning on this kitchen counter for like 5 minutes, the nachos are starting to mock me from the bowl. Fuck those nachos, they don’t even need cheese, I’ll just eat them raw. WAIT! Why haven’t I ever seen this before, raw nachos are just chips! Note to self: tell everyone you know about the nacho fraud. I should see what everyone else is doing, maybe they want some nachos. Fuck, I meant chips.
Halo 3, huh? I guess I’ll just watch for a bit.
Jesus Javier Christ this is sweet. SHOOT HIM, oh fuck that was close, good call. This is friggen awesome, was it always this sweet or is the weed making it better?
I really think weed makes me smarter, I just talked in-depth to that guy about how Iron Man could totally beat up Batman in a fight. I mean what chance does Bruce Wayne stand against repulsor rays? It’s like my mind has been opened up to a new realm of thought.
What the fuck, no he couldn’t. Batman could just fuck up Stark by playing mind games with him and driving him to alcoholism. Damn you, marijuana. Should I apologize to the guy and admit that I was wrong? Fuck that, Batman wouldn’t do that.
Oh shit, where’s everyone going? Oh, we’re going to go buy more weed? What’s the etiquette here, do I give them money or do I just sit still and hope they leave without me so I can look at this goddamn ceiling some more?
Okay they’re gone, it’s just me and some other guy who looks like Charles Manson. I didn’t think this through. No, dude, I don’t want to play Halo, knock yourself out. Wow, looks like he took that personally. Maybe I’ll just go lay down in the guest room. I’m so tired, this stuff is exhausting. Note to self: smoke more weed.”
Julian Assange wasn’t the one who stole the documents. He (J Assange) didn’t publish them. His website did. And if a site publishes something that has been stolen or LEAKED, then YouTube, Google and all of the worlds newspapers is guilty of espionage as well. Julian Assange is an journalist and an internet activist. All he did was bring the facts to light. and if you’re hanging the man, hang the rest of us too, maybe, if your constitutions are just a veil for your dirty laundry. Maybe the governments should stop killing innocent people instead? Or is that okay with you? Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.
The plane hit the runway at Manchester Airport. Carrying my luggage and coming out of the lounge I had this fresh feeling, this sense of relief knowing that for the next three weeks my days would not start and end with a suicide bombing, I won’t have to read about poverty driven suicides every second day, I would not be a spectator to another episode of political drama created by the fraudulent politicians and that I wouldn’t be discriminated in one part of the country because I belonged to some other part of it. Yes, I was no more in Pakistan…
But was it worth it? I believe not! This is the place where I took my first breath, where I learnt to walk n talk, where I had my laugh as well as my first tear. There is one place in this world which would always own me no matter how less I care about it. No matter where I travel to and how many iniquities I face, there would always be one place which would accept me with open arms and where I can come back again and again. That’s Pakistan.
No arguing the situation in the country has demotivated people lately. The security situation is in shambles, the deplorable, paltering politicians and the everyday injustices do not give a very positive vibe about the country to its people but then we must realize that commitment and belonging to a country is a totally different affair. It’s not a T.V channel which we can switch. It’s a matter of identity.
I believe we should not lose hope that easily. The baffled and flawed system was always there but we still held out. We still managed to do things out of the darkness which many others could only dream of. We became a nuclear power when the country was highly indebted, we became world champions when the country was in turmoil and we had the first Muslim Nobel laureate in Sciences just 32 years into independence. Then who says we cannot rise out of the Ashes? There may be bumps and blows on the way but the land where the sun shines bright on us is not far away.
The 3 week hitch in Britain was over and it was time to get back to motherland life is never on a standstill. Coming back I just realized, no matter how fallacious the political system may be, how unjust the environment may be and how much despair there is, I would still prefer to be a first class citizen of a third world country than the other way around. O’ my beloved! I still have faith in you. One day we will come out of this chasm. These bad times are not forever; it’s just about recognizing the silver lining behind every dark cloud and grabbing it. They may say you are a failed state but I would say I’m a failed citizen if I do not believe and put all my faith in you.
Long Live Pakistan!
As the first Sikh elected to India’s highest office, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has helped change the face of…okay, just so we don’t get too ahead of ourselves here, we should probably explain what a Sikh is.
So, a Sikh practices Sikhism, which is a monotheistic religion that is based on the teachings of Guru Nanek Dev Ji and was founded in 15th-century Punjab. That probably raises more questions than it answers. Anyway, before we get into all that, we should say right now that Sikhism has nothing to do with Islam. They’re completely different faiths. Got it?
Oh, right, just to be clear, Punjab is a geographical region on the border of India and Pakistan, which includes both the Indian state of Punjab and the Pakistani province of Punjab. We might get back to that later, but first let’s explain that Guru Nanek Dev Ji’s major philosophy was that God is formless but can be found manifest in all religions. It’s actually a bit more complicated than that, but for our purposes here, that should suffice.
(Monotheism, by the way, is the belief in one singular God. If you already know what monotheism is, please don’t be insulted. We just want to make sure everyone’s on the same page here.)
Okay, here we go: In India, 80 percent of the population is Hindu, and, you know what, let’s talk about India before we get into any of that. India is the second-most populous country, behind China, and is also the world’s largest democracy. Just real fast, democracy is a form of representative government where power is derived from citizens; one could argue that many so-called democracies are actually republics, but that’s neither here nor there.
Actually, why don’t we slow down for a second and get back to India. India is a country in South Asia, and Asia is the world’s most populous continent. A continent is one of seven large landmasses on Earth, which is where we all live and is also the third planet in the solar system. Our solar system is composed of a sun and eight planets, or nine, depending on whom you ask, and is located in the Milky Way galaxy. Galaxies are massive, gravitationally bound systems of stars, gas, and dust that combine to form the universe, which is the totality of everything in existence.
Okay, where were we? Ah, yes, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, well, we didn’t hear much about him this year…
Guess who just stepped into this hellhole… no, its not your grandma, you foolish? ughhh…
The Sanity Boat 